5 Misconceptions I Believed About Motherhood Before I Became a Mother

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I was judgmental before I became a mom. There I said it. It’s a little liberating to admit that. In my Master’s program, I remember a classmate talking about how exasperated she was with her 2 year old. She was tired after a long day of  work, then her evening ended with homework and a non-cooperative two year old.Her toddler refused to stay in bed and she often vented to our group about her efforts.

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Me, being the naive 23 year old that I was, asked, why don’t you just tell her to get back in bed?

DEFINITELY THE WRONG THING TO SAY!

At the time I didn’t understand the daggers that she shot me, but since becoming a mom, I have more than eaten those words. Here are a few misconceptions that I had before having kids:

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You Know You’re in a Multiracial Family When…

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Good evening everyone! Have you ever heard of Loving Day? I didn’t until recently. It’s an   an annual celebration held on June 12, the anniversary of the 1967 Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia, which struck down all of laws forbidding marriage between people non-white and white.

People often remark that when you love who you love, it doesn’t matter, and the world shouldn’t either. I believe that is the case, but being in an interracial marriage is very different than marriage with two people of the same race. It becomes even trickier when you add children to the mix.

What’s different you ask? I’ll be happy to tell you.

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How Growing Up In a Jamaican Family Has Influenced My Parenting

This week and next, I’ll be writing about how growing up in a Jamaican family has influenced me. This week, I’m focusing on parenting. Both of my parents were born and raised in Jamaica, but came to the states as adults. I never really thought about how my parents were different from others until they told me no about something that most other parents said yes to. My father was in the Air Force, so many of my friends had parents from different countries, which brought about their cultural norms.

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As an adult no longer surrounded by other military families, I have settled with my family in the south. Many people I encounter live close to family, and have for generations. This highlights the stark differences between my upbringing and theirs.

Here’s a few things I have noticed:

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Interracial Marriage: The Rice Perspective

Happy Sunday! Thank you to all the followers that have joined me on my blogging adventure. January marks my 6th month journey as a blogger and I am thoroughly enjoying it! This week, I had the privilege of connecting with another mom and wife, Emerald Rice, of The Rice Life.

She is a black woman, married to a white man, and they have 3 beautiful children. I enjoy hearing other people’s perspective that have a similar family structure. And as ya’ll know, I love interviews. It must be the counselor in me.

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Black & White: An Interview About Growing up Biracial

Good evening all! I’m so excited to share this interview with you. Since starting this blog in July, I’ve had a variety of people reach out to me through social media outlets. My biggest following to date  is on Instagram. I love interacting with other moms, especially those that understand the joys and trials of raising biracial children.

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What does a school counselor and therapist have in common? Apparently a whole lot! Tiffany Coleman and I have never met, but talked for close to an hour about growing up biracial and all things race and raising kids. Let’s jump right to it…..

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The Joys (& Challenges) of Raising (Little) Girls

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I had planned for this blog post to be all about how to plan a simple toddler party. However, as we know, life doesn’t always go according to plan. In this case A. No one showed up for the party (the unfortunate part of having a birthday so close to a major holiday) and B. Daphne threw up…all…afternoon.

I don’t have any sons, so I don’t have anything to compare to, except the testosterone dominated house that I grew up in. I have always wanted to have a daughter, and I’ve been blessed to raise two! Here’s what I love about being a mom to little girls:

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How Does Being A Parent Change Your Friendships?

Maintaining friendships with kids

There were some things I never understood about my married friends with kids until I was married with my own children. Here’s what I’ve discovered:

  • Single friends don’t get it when you need to get off the phone.
  • Single friends think you have gone to fashion hell for wearing Crocs while pregnant and converting to flats. In my 20’s, I wore heels to work and a backup pair of flats. Now, who has time for all that extra stuff?
  • You try to discuss things other than your family to stay relevant, but your family is now you’re life.
  • Some single friends eventually get married and the relationship doesn’t evolve, but fizzles. This is heartbreaking, but thankfully you can make new friends who understands.

Here’s how I see the breakdown of friendships: Continue reading

How to Keep the Love Alive (After Kids)

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December 31, 2015 marked six years that my husband and I have been married. Every year, we like to take some time to reflect on our relationship. For this post, I decided to interview my husband. He wanted to share some helpful tips with you all.

Diedre: Justin, how have we kept the love alive?

Justin: It helps to clean stuff up.

Diedre: Can you elaborate?

Justin: Deep sigh. Dishes. Tub. Bathroom. Humor. Laugh with each other. I like seeing my wife smile. Make dinner at home with her favorite beverage. Admit when you’re wrong.

His answers were short, sweet and to the point.

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minimizing the meltdown

Minimizing the Meltdown: Tips for Trips with Kids Under 5

I love fall just as much as the next girl. Pumpkin spice lattes, fall festivals, fairs and all the other excitement that fall has to offer. Becoming a parent means a lifestyle change. The days of spending all day or evening at event become quite challenging with kids, especially toddlers under the age of five. Have you ever planned the perfect outing for your kids, only to be disappointed by tears and tantrums? Here’s what I’ve found works for minimizing the meltdowns:

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  • Take your children first thing in the morning when they wake up, or right after a nap. Most toddlers have meltdowns because they are either tired or overstimulated. Timing is everything!
  • Pack extra snacks. I love fair and festival food as much as the next girl. However, I have a very picky four year old. She loves dairy products and doesn’t drink much except milk or water. Knowing that, I keep her favorite drinks on hand if we are going to be out for several hours. For me, this helps to minimize her meltdowns.
  • If possible, bring reinforcements. By reinforcements, I mean Grandma, friends, or family. Any extra hands on deck are always a big help with little ones.

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  • Bring your camera (or keep your phone charged). You won’t want to miss their grins in the pumpkin patch, powdered sugar all over their faces, and anything else that might occur.

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  • Use the stroller as extra storage. When you have little kids, you feel like you are bringing everything but the kitchen sink on an outing. Your arms get full and you are constantly digging for something in a bag. The stroller works to keep the kids contained as well as storage for all the kiddie gear! I have a four year old and almost two year old, and I love our Joovy stroller.

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  • Ignore the stares. People will stare, grumble and glare. Anyone who has ever raised kids, knows that toddlers can be unpredictable. Once Melody and I were shopping in Belk. She had just woken from a nap and was being fussy in her stroller. A woman walked over and said to her, aw, what’s wrong little girl? Are you sleepy? Does your mom need to take you home for a nap? I tried not to glare at her, but kindly informed her that she had just woken from a nap.
  • Know your child’s over stimulation threshold. Sometimes as adults, we forget that all that excitement can be overwhelming for them, especially if we are deviating from their normal schedule. We had to leave a Halloween event because Melody pitched a royal fit (when I say royal, I mean royal). Nothing was going her way, and Daphne was half asleep anyway, so we just came home and put everyone to bed. We decided it was better to give them what they needed, rather than push the issue just because it was Halloween.

What was the last outing you had with your toddler? What did you do to minimize the meltdown?

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