How to Meet the Needs of Your Biracial Child (at Home)

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According to Dr. Francis Wardle, the author of the Center for the Studies of Biracial Children, “A multicultural curriculum for young children should focus on affirmation and acknowledgement of everyone, making sure that every child and every family is represented in the classroom environment and in all curricular materials, and that there are lots and lots of opportunities for rich human contact between children and a vast variety of diverse, mature, and talented adults.”

As parents of biracial children, we can’t depend on society to teach them who they are, and how to appreciate themselves. It’s our job to teach them those things, as well as how to appreciate people who are different from them.

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So how do you meet the needs of your biracial child if you only identify as one race? Can you truly meet their needs? I believe you can. Here’s how:

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You Know You’re in a Multiracial Family When…

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Good evening everyone! Have you ever heard of Loving Day? I didn’t until recently. It’s an   an annual celebration held on June 12, the anniversary of the 1967 Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia, which struck down all of laws forbidding marriage between people non-white and white.

People often remark that when you love who you love, it doesn’t matter, and the world shouldn’t either. I believe that is the case, but being in an interracial marriage is very different than marriage with two people of the same race. It becomes even trickier when you add children to the mix.

What’s different you ask? I’ll be happy to tell you.

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Interracial Marriage: The Rice Perspective

Happy Sunday! Thank you to all the followers that have joined me on my blogging adventure. January marks my 6th month journey as a blogger and I am thoroughly enjoying it! This week, I had the privilege of connecting with another mom and wife, Emerald Rice, of The Rice Life.

She is a black woman, married to a white man, and they have 3 beautiful children. I enjoy hearing other people’s perspective that have a similar family structure. And as ya’ll know, I love interviews. It must be the counselor in me.

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Black & White: An Interview About Growing up Biracial

Good evening all! I’m so excited to share this interview with you. Since starting this blog in July, I’ve had a variety of people reach out to me through social media outlets. My biggest following to date  is on Instagram. I love interacting with other moms, especially those that understand the joys and trials of raising biracial children.

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What does a school counselor and therapist have in common? Apparently a whole lot! Tiffany Coleman and I have never met, but talked for close to an hour about growing up biracial and all things race and raising kids. Let’s jump right to it…..

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tips for raising healthy biracial children

Interview with an Expert of Biracial Studies

Happy Friday! In the past couple of weeks I’ve been busy writing two guest posts, two Huffington Post articles and completing this interview with Dr. Wardle. I came across his book, Tomorrow’s Children after an assignment in graduate school. We were tasked with picking an issue we were passionate about and finding ways to educate our fellow colleagues about the issue. Surprisingly to me, there was little research surrounding educating and raising biracial children. Dr. Wardle’s view on raising biracial children was a refreshing take and his book was a quick read.

As you can see, my book is now falling apart at the seams. As I was thinking about this next post, I considered reaching out to him to see if he would be interested in allowing me to interview him. I found his contact information on his website, The Center for the Study of Biracial Children. He emailed me back quickly with his home telephone number and we scheduled a date for the phone interview.

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If you’re unfamiliar with Dr. Wardle, here’s a brief bio: he has published eight books, two on multiracial children. He has also published about 400 articles in journals, national and international magazines, trade publications, interracial organization news letters, and popular newspapers, on a variety of subjects including interracial families, play,young children, playgrounds and education. He received his Ph.D in Curriculum and Instruction with a focus on Early Childhood from the University of Kansas in 1983. Since 1997, he has been teaching at Red Rocks Community College in the Early Childhood department, serves as a teacher/mentor at the University of Phoenix School of Advanced Studies, and last but not least, he is a writer.

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Supermom Had A Birthday

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Happy Birthday to me! Today I turned 32 and I celebrated all week. I’m so glad I’m back to an even numbered age. Does anyone else prefer even numbers? My hubby sent me flowers. He bought me tiramisu & fruit tarts. He put the girls to  bed and let me rest. Can birthday week be every week of the year??!

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I was most excited about the weekend. Friday I got my first blowout since I’ve been natural. For my non natural followers, that means that I have been rocking the curly look for two years. I haven’t used any chemicals to straighten my hair, or heat. Friday night, I paid a beautician to wash, trim, color, blow dry & flat iron my hair. I thought it looked pretty fabulous.

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I made the mistake of stepping into the night air and going into Ulta after my blowout. I could see my hair growing and drinking the humidity. Friday night and all day Saturday,  I wrapped my hair in a scarf, but alas, my hair sweated out the blowout.

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So, back to my curls I went. I was disappointed because I’d been planning my look for weeks. Justin reminded me that he thought I looked beautiful, and we had a date night without the kids. Sometimes we need someone to remind us not to sweat the small stuff (no pun intended). On the way out, the hostess told us how much she enjoys seeing us. She loves seeing couples that are different (interracial couples). My husband said that we see it as normal, but other people see it as a “thing.”

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Grief Has No Color

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The past two weeks have been a blur. My father in law passed Monday evening after a long battle with dementia. Prior to his diagnosis, he was a State Farm agent, a family man, a community activist and many other things.

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My father in law was diagnosed with dementia shortly after my husband and I married. I didn’t know much about the disease; I was ignorant to the fact that it debilitates the body as well as the mind. Last Thursday, we got a call that his vitals were going down. By Monday, his breathing was slower, he had been asleep for two days and his skin was paler. We could no longer deny the inevitable.

At the visitation, I was the only black family member and it didn’t matter. No matter the race, gender or nationality, we all have a few things in common. We all experience sadness and grief.  I loved Mr. Jimmy and we were family by marriage. Through my father in law’s illness, I realized that the part of our wedding vows that discussed sickness and health included family too.

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At the funeral, several people spoke about his kindness and willing to give and help others. He left a legacy for his family and I feel humbled to have been a part of his life. It made me think about the kind of legacy that I want to leave for my family.

We ended the week with pink eye. The baby had fever off and on all day on Tuesday, and Wednesday her eyes looked very questionable. Thankfully it was a mild case, because they look better already. I’m sure that’s due to the $50 teeny tiny bottle of drops I purchased at the pharmacy. I ranted to the girl at the drive through window, but I let her know I knew it wasn’t her fault that I was being taken advantage of. Today we stayed home to keep all of our lovely germs at home. I washed everything I thought the girls came in contact with and didn’t care if Daphne was matching or not. We had a big germ-y cuddle session. Don’t judge!

biracial kidsThankfully last week I prayed and asked God for strength and he gave it to me. I think that’s the only way I made it through this trying week.

What helps you through difficult times?

The Curly Hair Journey/Struggle

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When I first cut my hair, I was really self-conscious. I had 2 inches of relaxed hair yet and I was tired of struggling with the two textures. After feeling empowered by YouTube videos and natural hair blogs, I did the big chop the weekend after my birthday. I was in utter shock and felt like my whole face was exposed-then I realized that perhaps I have been hiding behind my hair. Maybe that’s why India Arie wrote the song, I Am Not My Hair.

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I received shocked looks from many people, but several compliments from others. As my hair has grown, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Today I’m on the love end of the spectrum. For those of you with straight hair, let me explain. Curly hair has a mind of its own. For example, sometimes when I try to part my hair, the curls are coiled so tightly that they close the part. Or, I try a new hair product and my hair looks half afro-ish and the other side has defined curls. The struggle is definitely real! As I learn more about what my hair loves, I’m also feeling more confident about experimenting. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for different TWA (teeny weeny afro) cuts for quite some time now, and I found one that I love! Short in the back and on the sides, so now styling takes half the time!

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