You Know You’re in a Multiracial Family When…

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Good evening everyone! Have you ever heard of Loving Day? I didn’t until recently. It’s an   an annual celebration held on June 12, the anniversary of the 1967 Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia, which struck down all of laws forbidding marriage between people non-white and white.

People often remark that when you love who you love, it doesn’t matter, and the world shouldn’t either. I believe that is the case, but being in an interracial marriage is very different than marriage with two people of the same race. It becomes even trickier when you add children to the mix.

What’s different you ask? I’ll be happy to tell you.

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How to Be an Urban Farm Wife

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Good evening ya’ll! My new posts usually go live on Sunday nights, but we’ve had a bit of excitement lately. On Easter Sunday, one of our hogs gave birth to 11 little piglets!

 

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I never thought I’d be so excited about pigs! My husband went to feed the hogs (we’ve got 2 and they were both pregnant) after church and discovered that one of them had given birth. After lunch with the family, the girls and I headed to the farm to meet the new little piglets.

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This year has been exciting because my husband has stepped out and started his own business, Anthony’s Roots. He’ll be selling range free eggs, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and hogs.

I never in a million years thought I’d be married to a farmer. In fact, my coworkers and friends often say that I look nothing like a farmer’s wife, and am to prissy to be a farmer’s wife. Well I beg to differ! In fact, let me tell you how to be an urban farm wife.

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5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with Your Spouse

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My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In those 6 years, he has been a travel agent, State Farm insurance agent and now a farmer. My career as a School Counselor hasn’t changed, however I’ve become a mother twice, and that is an evolution in itself.

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I’ve heard many people who struggle in their marriages talk about how they’ve just grown apart. The truth of the matter is that we continue to grow and change as people. Life changes us as we weather different seasons. In marriage, we should be growing together through those seasons. Marriage should be a verb because growing together takes work. It takes work to embrace the person you love as they continue to evolve. Here are 5 ways to evolve gracefully with your spouse:

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How Growing Up In a Jamaican Family Has Influenced My Parenting

This week and next, I’ll be writing about how growing up in a Jamaican family has influenced me. This week, I’m focusing on parenting. Both of my parents were born and raised in Jamaica, but came to the states as adults. I never really thought about how my parents were different from others until they told me no about something that most other parents said yes to. My father was in the Air Force, so many of my friends had parents from different countries, which brought about their cultural norms.

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As an adult no longer surrounded by other military families, I have settled with my family in the south. Many people I encounter live close to family, and have for generations. This highlights the stark differences between my upbringing and theirs.

Here’s a few things I have noticed:

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Supermom Had A Birthday

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Happy Birthday to me! Today I turned 32 and I celebrated all week. I’m so glad I’m back to an even numbered age. Does anyone else prefer even numbers? My hubby sent me flowers. He bought me tiramisu & fruit tarts. He put the girls to  bed and let me rest. Can birthday week be every week of the year??!

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I was most excited about the weekend. Friday I got my first blowout since I’ve been natural. For my non natural followers, that means that I have been rocking the curly look for two years. I haven’t used any chemicals to straighten my hair, or heat. Friday night, I paid a beautician to wash, trim, color, blow dry & flat iron my hair. I thought it looked pretty fabulous.

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I made the mistake of stepping into the night air and going into Ulta after my blowout. I could see my hair growing and drinking the humidity. Friday night and all day Saturday,  I wrapped my hair in a scarf, but alas, my hair sweated out the blowout.

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So, back to my curls I went. I was disappointed because I’d been planning my look for weeks. Justin reminded me that he thought I looked beautiful, and we had a date night without the kids. Sometimes we need someone to remind us not to sweat the small stuff (no pun intended). On the way out, the hostess told us how much she enjoys seeing us. She loves seeing couples that are different (interracial couples). My husband said that we see it as normal, but other people see it as a “thing.”

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How to Kick the Chaos

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Life has been pretty chaotic lately. Working outside of the home and commuting daily presents itself with no shortage of challenges. I actually feel wiser the older I get (good thing because I have a birthday this week!!). I want to share a few tips I’ve learned that help me kick the chaos:

  1. Have a nightly bedtime routine (and stick to it!). I’m a stickler for routine and so are my kids. I don’t get bent out of shape if bedtime isn’t the exact same every night, but we have a goal that we shoot for. I do bath, my husband  brushes their teeth, and we swap off story time and prayer time. Find what works for you and keep your kids on a schedule.

IMG_42622.  Worry less, pray more. We worry about our kids. And our spouse. And our jobs. But worry gets us no where. Prayer changes things, and worry changes nothing.

3.  Set aside time for your family. Do something small-go the park and run around. Have movie nights.

 

 

4.  Plan age appropriate structured activities for your kids. The dollar bins at Target have great finds. Instead of them running around the house yelling and fighting, have them practice reading, writing or artistic abilities. It will buy you a few moments of quiet time!

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Grief Has No Color

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The past two weeks have been a blur. My father in law passed Monday evening after a long battle with dementia. Prior to his diagnosis, he was a State Farm agent, a family man, a community activist and many other things.

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My father in law was diagnosed with dementia shortly after my husband and I married. I didn’t know much about the disease; I was ignorant to the fact that it debilitates the body as well as the mind. Last Thursday, we got a call that his vitals were going down. By Monday, his breathing was slower, he had been asleep for two days and his skin was paler. We could no longer deny the inevitable.

At the visitation, I was the only black family member and it didn’t matter. No matter the race, gender or nationality, we all have a few things in common. We all experience sadness and grief.  I loved Mr. Jimmy and we were family by marriage. Through my father in law’s illness, I realized that the part of our wedding vows that discussed sickness and health included family too.

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At the funeral, several people spoke about his kindness and willing to give and help others. He left a legacy for his family and I feel humbled to have been a part of his life. It made me think about the kind of legacy that I want to leave for my family.

We ended the week with pink eye. The baby had fever off and on all day on Tuesday, and Wednesday her eyes looked very questionable. Thankfully it was a mild case, because they look better already. I’m sure that’s due to the $50 teeny tiny bottle of drops I purchased at the pharmacy. I ranted to the girl at the drive through window, but I let her know I knew it wasn’t her fault that I was being taken advantage of. Today we stayed home to keep all of our lovely germs at home. I washed everything I thought the girls came in contact with and didn’t care if Daphne was matching or not. We had a big germ-y cuddle session. Don’t judge!

biracial kidsThankfully last week I prayed and asked God for strength and he gave it to me. I think that’s the only way I made it through this trying week.

What helps you through difficult times?

Cue the Nostalgia…

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This has been an amazing weekend! My oldest daughter will be 4 tomorrow and I’m feeling anxious for some reason. I think my mind is taking me back to how I felt the night before her delivery. She was a planned C-section because she was breach. She flipped once in the middle of the night (facing head down), then figured snuggling under my ribs was much more comfortable, she flipped back. But more of this to come in my post later this week after her actual birthday.

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My plan this summer was to get back in shape. In my single days, I would hit up the gym 3-4 times a week enduring a combination of Zumba, Kickboxing and a little Yoga. Fast forward 6 years, and  I’ve got the hustle and bustle of commuting to work 40 miles one way, picking up children at my mother in law’s after work, cooking dinner, getting kids ready for bed, mixing in a load of laundry or two and maybe catching up on a t.v. show if I haven’t passed out of the couch. The joy of the summer is I don’t really have to be anywhere at any certain time. My fellow educators understand what I mean! With that being said, the end of the summer is slowly creeping up on me, and I’ve vowed to do better. I’m starting with breakfast-making myself breakfast for champions-eggs with onions and spinach. Surprisingly, the baby likes it too! I never imagined that it would be this difficult to get going again-I’ve had a love affair with the gym since I was about 20 years old. Now I understand the true meaning of the word juggle.

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