Happy Sunday! Thank you to all the followers that have joined me on my blogging adventure. January marks my 6th month journey as a blogger and I am thoroughly enjoying it! This week, I had the privilege of connecting with another mom and wife, Emerald Rice, of The Rice Life.
She is a black woman, married to a white man, and they have 3 beautiful children. I enjoy hearing other people’s perspective that have a similar family structure. And as ya’ll know, I love interviews. It must be the counselor in me.
The Rice Life Interview
D: Tell me about yourself and your family.
E: My husband and I have been together for 11 years, and married for almost 7. We were high school sweethearts that attended rival high schools, but little did we know, we lived 10 minutes away from each other. We have 3 children, ages almost 6, 4 & 2 year old.
D: That’s so sweet! You don’t hear about high school sweethearts sustaining long standing relationships anymore.
D: What do you love the most about being married?
E: Being able to share life experiences together. She became into a woman and he was there every step of the way. He’s my best friend.
D: What’s the biggest challenge of marriage? Difference in personality. I am OCD, and he is go with the flow. Trying to find a middle ground and a balance. Differing opinions. We both have matured.
D: What do you think is the biggest challenge of being in an interracial marriage?
E: We approach it as this is our marriage. and we tune everything else out. If we get side eyes, we don’t notice because we tune everyone out. That’s how we survived so long. If you let people infiltrate your marriage, you won’t be cohesive as you should be. Not many obstacles dating/marriage.
D: I know that where you live can also contribute to your experiences in an interracial relationship. Where are you located?
D: In my last blog, I gave some tips about how to keep the love alive (after kids). How do you keep love alive in your marriage? Try to find time for each other. Date night, or snuggling and watching Netflix. Taking 10 minutes to say how was your day. It feels good to have someone listen to you. Remembering why you fell in love in the first place.
D: What would be your advice to other couples for making a marriage work?
E: Be positive, work hard. Anything worth having requires you to work hard. In the past 11 years, a lot of things have happened in our lives. Children, different dynamics. Things that alter our lives in general. Remembering why you fell in love. Be positive. Remember that your spouse is human and they make mistakes.
D: What advice would you give specifically to interracial couples? Be you. If other people have an issue with your relationship, remember that you didn’t marry other people. You are with the person you love. Block out the things that aren’t conducive to building a healthy relationship to your partner.
D: I know that you were 17 when you were engaged, and you married young. What are some of the challenges of being married young?
E: We weren’t established financially. We had to grow spiritually together. We were babies, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We did have to grow together and learn each other. It was tough sometimes not having yourself established while being with someone else.
D: We talked about marriage, now let’s talk about children. How do you plan to talk to them about race and identity?
E: Well, my kids are still young. My oldest is 6 and in Kindergarten. My daughter is 4. When she was 3 she noticed that mommy and daddy look different. She said Daddy is white and mommy is brown. I want to be white like daddy because he’s the only white person in the house, and I don’t want him to be lonely. We just explained to her that God made her the way she is, and God made us how we are. They don’t have any hangups about being biracial. We seek to instill in them that they are black and white. They shouldn’t have a preference, they are just who God made them to be. If my daughter asks, why do you have a birthmark? I just respond. That’s how God made us. Once they are older, and people have different opinions that they share with them, we’ll talk about it more. We haven’t had to engage in those kinds of conversations yet. We try to get dolls that look like her. Representation matters. Things they play with can rep resent them or look like them too.
What a great interview! Emerald was kind, and offered some great insights to what makes her marriage work. Were any of you married young? What helped you sustain a long, healthy marriage? Have a wonderful week!!
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