Grief Has No Color

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The past two weeks have been a blur. My father in law passed Monday evening after a long battle with dementia. Prior to his diagnosis, he was a State Farm agent, a family man, a community activist and many other things.


My father in law was diagnosed with dementia shortly after my husband and I married. I didn’t know much about the disease; I was ignorant to the fact that it debilitates the body as well as the mind. Last Thursday, we got a call that his vitals were going down. By Monday, his breathing was slower, he had been asleep for two days and his skin was paler. We could no longer deny the inevitable.

At the visitation, I was the only black family member and it didn’t matter. No matter the race, gender or nationality, we all have a few things in common. We all experience sadness and grief.  I loved Mr. Jimmy and we were family by marriage. Through my father in law’s illness, I realized that the part of our wedding vows that discussed sickness and health included family too.

interracial marriage

At the funeral, several people spoke about his kindness and willing to give and help others. He left a legacy for his family and I feel humbled to have been a part of his life. It made me think about the kind of legacy that I want to leave for my family.

We ended the week with pink eye. The baby had fever off and on all day on Tuesday, and Wednesday her eyes looked very questionable. Thankfully it was a mild case, because they look better already. I’m sure that’s due to the $50 teeny tiny bottle of drops I purchased at the pharmacy. I ranted to the girl at the drive through window, but I let her know I knew it wasn’t her fault that I was being taken advantage of. Today we stayed home to keep all of our lovely germs at home. I washed everything I thought the girls came in contact with and didn’t care if Daphne was matching or not. We had a big germ-y cuddle session. Don’t judge!

biracial kidsThankfully last week I prayed and asked God for strength and he gave it to me. I think that’s the only way I made it through this trying week.

What helps you through difficult times?


30 thoughts on “Grief Has No Color

  1. Joseph Jones Jr says:

    First off I want to send condolences to your family. I love reading your blog posts and I agree that skin color does not matter in sadness and grief. Also I’m happy that pink eye has cleared up and the kids can continue to play at peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyfreebies says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad to severe dementia last year and it was a very long arduous process. He was a completely different person for many years leading up to his passing. I completely understand what you are going through. Sounds like you had a really tough time lately. Here’s to things looking up for you soon. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bcheekeen says:

    I am so sorry about your father in law. I had no idea either that dementia affects the body as well as mind. And, I am sorry about your baby getting pink eye!! I think prayer and faith are the only things that can get you through tough times.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. balfa014 says:

    What a great read! Thank you. It seems as though sometimes one “crisis” helps us get through another. Strong women and moms are inevitably the energy that makes the world turn and keeps it turning 😉


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