The Curly Hair Journey/Struggle

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When I first cut my hair, I was really self-conscious. I had 2 inches of relaxed hair yet and I was tired of struggling with the two textures. After feeling empowered by YouTube videos and natural hair blogs, I did the big chop the weekend after my birthday. I was in utter shock and felt like my whole face was exposed-then I realized that perhaps I have been hiding behind my hair. Maybe that’s why India Arie wrote the song, I Am Not My Hair.

the big chop.jpg

I received shocked looks from many people, but several compliments from others. As my hair has grown, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Today I’m on the love end of the spectrum. For those of you with straight hair, let me explain. Curly hair has a mind of its own. For example, sometimes when I try to part my hair, the curls are coiled so tightly that they close the part. Or, I try a new hair product and my hair looks half afro-ish and the other side has defined curls. The struggle is definitely real! As I learn more about what my hair loves, I’m also feeling more confident about experimenting. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for different TWA (teeny weeny afro) cuts for quite some time now, and I found one that I love! Short in the back and on the sides, so now styling takes half the time!

teeny weeny afro

One of my favorite things about having natural hair is that my daughters can look at me and say, I have curly hair like mommy. I hope that I can teach them to have pride in their hair and know that beauty comes in all shades and textures. I hope they don’t feel the pressure to want to constantly straighten their hair. After all, curly hair has superpower! Okay, so maybe I made that last part up, but it’s versatile and fun. What other hair texture has its own lingo (co-wash, twa, big chop, etc)?

My oldest, Melody, has tightly coiled curls like mine. Her hair is the texture of white hair, but requires the maintenance of black hair. Without her products, co-washing, and braiding at night, she would have a tangled dry afro.

 tightlly coiled curls

Daphne, the baby, has looser, wavy curls. Her hair can’t be weighed down with heavy products, yet needs some amount of moisture to look healthy. She has the texture and basic maintenance of white hair. I’m amazed at how they share the same genes, but their hair is very different.

loose wavy curls.jpg

The great thing about having curly haired offspring is that when a product doesn’t work for me, it isn’t a complete wash because I can just try it on the both of them! Oh, and my husband is okay with that. He just tells me not to share the prices of the products with him. Did I get lucky or what?

curly girls share products

What do you think about women with short hair? What are your thoughts on the natural movement?


8 thoughts on “The Curly Hair Journey/Struggle

  1. aquasurf00 says:

    I just chopped my hair off and I feel so insecure!!!! I’ve had a relaxer since I was 9 and now I am natural and I feel it is a disaster!!!! lol. Well I’m only 2 weeks in but it seems like my hair will never grow!

    Liked by 1 person

    • dacounsel says:

      Aquasurf00, you hair will grow before you know it-hang in there! Believe me, the longer it gets, the more maintenance it requires. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different styles & products as it grows. I felt the same way you do after I cut mine & now I love it! Try a hair subscription box so you aren’t spending a ton of money. I love onyx box. Good luck on your hair journey!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. elizabethkgwebster says:

    I share the struggle! I now use organic coconut oil for me and my daughter’s hair. It works really well to define curls and not weigh the hair down. We use it for moisturizer too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fabiola says:

    I think your hair looks great! I have a question- what is your nighttime routine with your daughter Daphne’s hair? Do you also braid it? My baby girl’s hair looks exactly like hers and nighttime is definitely a problem. She always wakes up with a crazy wild head of curls! I’ve thought about combing it into a topknot before bed, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Any suggestions?


    • dacounsel says:

      Thank you Fabiola! I suggest braiding it at night. I use my staple, Kinky Curly Knot Today leave in detangler and some kind of leave in conditioner (Shea Moisture Curl Pudding or Cantu Naturals leave in conditioner are 2 of my favs), comb through after bath and do a single braid or pigtails. The day I started braiding at night was the day I stopped having a head full of tangles in the morning! I hope this helps!


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